I’m increasingly noticing the ‘space’ in my life and that of my clients at the moment. At times there can seem like there’s no space for much other than work or the responsibilities that we have for others. At work, we can struggle to find space. We bounce from one meeting to the next. It can feel like there’s no time for people; there’s no thinking time and no space to just draw breath and regroup.
I don’t know what your family is like – but even trying to co-ordinate diaries, plans and calendars can become a military manoeuvre. Finding time to hangout with family and friends increasingly is being scheduled, and fitted in amongst all the other, list of places to go and people to see.
I really don’t like it when my diary is packed and that there’s no ‘wriggle room.’ It’s a feeling of pressure and a sense that there isn’t time for me to ‘do a whole load of nothing’ if I choose. This month has been a month-long holy period for Muslims and my understanding is that Ramadan is a time to pause, take stock and reflect. For many of us we don’t make time to pause and reflect; and I think we do that, at our peril!
I like to think of the time I spend with clients as their ‘space’ for drawing breath. A sort of side-benefit of the work is the sense that clients get some time JUST FOR THEM. Weirdly people make the time to see me, we agree the date in the calendar and work around other stuff…but people often comment that they wouldn’t ordinarily set the time aside for themselves. What a shame that is!!
It’s like we pride ourselves on our busyness. We can feel that it’s somehow wrong or indulgent to take time for yourself. One of biggest benefits of the coaching or counselling space is the sense of fresh perspective that can be gained by stepping off the ‘hamster wheel’ and taking some time to look at things afresh! The space is time to reflect and take stock and gain fresh perspectives. Perspectives and insights that are often missed in the cut and thrust of fast paced daily lives.
It’s easy to get carried along with the busyness of everyday stuff, but here’s some ways to create some more space for yourself;
- Be clear on your boundaries and tell people. Be explicit and straight forward about what’s OK and what’s not OK for you
- Learn to say ‘no’ particularly when your boundaries are being stretched
- Take control and step up your assertion – your time is precious, don’t let others steal it from you
- Put yourself first – you don’t have to put everyone one else’s’ needs above your own
And above all, schedule ‘space’ – just like we would schedule a one to one coaching session – make a date with yourself, and don’t let anyone steal that time for anything else!!
Make some time for you….YOU’RE DEFINITELY WORTH IT!!!