So we’re in full swing now, in the run up to Christmas. I have to admit I’m not one of those people that worries about things being perfect. I quite like the chaos and buzz that happens when families get together. Things always get done. So what if I didn’t do the roasties in goosefat and who cares if lunch is late? I’m of the view these days, that Christmas lunch is just another roast dinner…with a few whistles and bells!!
According to a recent YouGov survey for the Sunday Times women are doing much more of the work for Christmas than men. Apparently 69% of women say they send out the Christmas cards, while only 12% of men say the same. Buying the presents is split female to male by 61%-8%; doing the food shopping by 54%-13%; and cooking the Christmas dinner by 51%-17%.
I’m wondering if we don’t REALLY ask for help when we need it? I know I can be guilty of begrudgingly doing something because I assume that my other half can see that I need help….or can read my mind in some instances!
So here’s a little game to try;
- Take a few minutes to think about what stops you asking for help? It can be interesting to ponder this to see if you can uncover what is at the heart of your reluctance.
- Change your thinking. It’s not helpful to hang onto the idea that you have to do everything. You’re just putting extra pressure on yourself.
- Spit it out. Be upfront and straightforward about asking for help. Avoid padding. E.g. ‘I’m feeling……… right now, could you help me?’
- Be clear on what you need. Can you state clearly and specifically what you need? E.g ‘I need help with…….would you be able to………?’ or ‘I need you to….’
Without ‘teaching my granny how to suck eggs’ it can be helpful to have a few stock phrases to say when you ask for help!
Good luck….and if you need some more help with this you just have to ask!!